


Cheap wine and the deep sense of longing for you

by therapppies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Feels, Drunken Confessions, Everyone Needs A Hug, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Yamaguchi Tadashi, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, Introspection, M/M, No Dialogue, No Fluff, POV Yamaguchi Tadashi, Sad Ending, Sobbing, Tsukiyama - Freeform, Wine, Yearning, took painkillers while coming up with this, tsukkiyama - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:40:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27528586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therapppies/pseuds/therapppies
Summary: What the wine labels forget to tell is that, despite the alcohol percentage and the grape harvest, another element of its composition — if not the most important one — is the longing.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 12





	Cheap wine and the deep sense of longing for you

The street thermometer says it’s 60,8 degrees, the clock marks midnight and fifty-three, the cheap bottle of wine was already half over and I still miss you.

All the feelings that have so far been held are now coming out from an almost drunk, with an apology letter and in a melancholic impetus of love. Alcohol sometimes transforms even ordinary volleyball players into poets. Let's have a toast for that.

I’m sitting on my building's emergency exit stairs, in the little corner that has always been ours — where we used to go every Friday after training to see the sunset and the stars popping up in the sky, along with the company of each other, of a good glass of wine and some snacks. It was simple, but still a beautiful landscape for the eyes and a warmth for the heart. We listened to the songs you added into our playlist, all of them about us, in the average volume of your cell phone. 

And today I listen alone with earphones to the songs that remind me of you.

I feel the early morning cold breeze on my skin, but the drunkenness was already taking my body — not enough to make me lose the little consciousness I still had, but enough to not care about getting sick. On the other hand, I’m thinking about how good it is to feel this breeze, and that despite the mistakes and stumbling, I still feel.

The city lights caught my attention and I look at them with my face resting on my knees. I wonder the reason why the lights are still on from the building windows across the street. Would it be a broken heart? Maybe insomnia? Or even worse, would it be an empty heart? I drink one more sip of wine as I quietly and miserably answer yes to all my previous questions.

I’m still out here because I don’t feel like walking into the apartment that was once ours and see all the signs and traces you left behind. That black jacket of yours that I always loved it's thrown on the kitchen table, your vinyl record collection is still packed in the corner of the room, and all the classic books you bought last year are still wrapped in plastic waiting to be read. And exactly like them, I'm still waiting for you.

I guess that suffering from love is as intense as smiling from love. One more toast to life's dichotomies.

I write a few unconnected words on my cell phone’s notes as an attempt to get out of my chest everything I feel; as an attempt to diminish the heavy weight of all the words I didn’t tell you and now they are shattered in my throat. I take my eyes off the phone and I remember you sitting next to me, the moments we shared our dreams and secrets, all my smiles at seeing you complaining about the sweat and I even remember our dirty clothes after training.

Damn.

I close my eyes hoping those memories go away and trying to ease the pain in my chest, but I still see you. And when I open them, I miss you.

What the wine labels forget to tell is that, despite the alcohol percentage and the grape harvest, another element of its composition — if not the most important one — is the longing. Because after all, I drank and drowned in the feeling of missing you; the memory of you next to me, the sound of your voice, the feeling of your touch and the heat of your love.

All of you, Tsukishima.


End file.
